When we have challenges in life, we learn and we grow. If life was easy and we understood everything, we would have no reason to exist as we do. Emotions and reactions are beautiful. It’s learning to use what emotion and when in a healthy way.
The only way to remember what we innately have built into us is to go through the different situations we need to go through to evolve. We evolve when we heal. We heal when we go through situations that are difficult for us. When we heal ourselves, we’re able to love and forgive others, hence sending love to them. That is the spiral of love and healing.
Here is a simple guided meditation you can do anytime and anywhere introducing you to your child:
- Get quiet. Sit, or lay comfortably, and breathe deeply.
- Inhale through your nose, into your belly, for a count of five.
- Hold for a count of five.
- Slowly blow out, and away from you, for a count of five.
- Do that a few more times until you feel yourself begin to shift and feel more settled into your body.
Once you’re relaxed and present, go to your child and look in their eyes. Imagine seeing them in their third-dimensional little bodies:
- What do they look like?
- What do they smell like?
- What do they feel like?
- What are they wearing?
- What do they sound like?
- Are they clean and tidy?
- Are they dirty from playing outside?
Once you start observing them, I want you to lean in a little closer. When you’re comfortable in front of them, I want you to get on a knee and reach out your hands to them. Let them come to you. Allow your hands to be an offering of solidarity and love. Allow them the same space for observing you. Allow them to look at you, feel you, and study you. With your hands reached out in front of you, invite them to take your hands when they’re ready. Allow them the time to do this. Children are very trusting and unconditional, yet at times can be unsure. Once they begin to recognize you, they’ll forever be a conscious part of you.
Remember, they’ve not seen you in a long time. You may look older, tougher, wiser, scarier, stronger, bigger, or rougher then they remember themselves to be. That’s ok. These are not judgments–these are observations. Observations are the key to them recognizing you and trusting you.
Many children are mad, angry, and distrusting. Remember, as with all children, it takes time and patience for them to trust you again. Bonds have been broken, and you have grown up and left them. You’ve been away from them for some time. Assimilating back into your energy will take time. Do not judge them for they’re not judging you. They’re studying you. This is a time of observation, growth, and coming together. It’s not until you come together like this that your child will trust you to have their back and to take care of them. Patience is the key.
As you continue to reacquaint yourselves with each other, don’t set a time limit. Maybe it will happen today, maybe they need another day. Invite them back to the same place, and the same time tomorrow, and remind them that you’ll be there waiting for them whenever they’re ready.
Another tip is to explain to them that you understand they may not be ready today, but they can just clap their hands, whistle, or maybe you can have a supersecret code word. Use this so they know when they call you, you’ll be there for them right away.
This is about building trust. You can’t bridge any relationship if the foundation is not built on trust and respect.
As you begin to get reacquainted, remind your child that you will always be there for them whenever they need you. As you wrap up this observational time together, slowly stand up and tell them it is okay to go back to whatever they were doing: playing, drawing, climbing a tree. Tell them that you love to watch them and maybe you can play with them sometime soon. Explain to them that just because you’re leaving this meeting, it doesn’t mean that you are gone. Remind them of their special calling card just between the two of you. If you want, give them a hug or a fist bump or a little nod goodbye. Trust yourself that you know what they need, and you respect that within them.
When you’re ready, open your eyes, look around, and just be where you are now. There’s no hurry to get up. There’s nowhere to be. Just be where you are now. When you’re ready, breathe in deeply through your nose, and blow it all out through your mouth slowly and gently. Do this until you are ready to open your eyes.
Take a moment before standing up. Brush yourself off and smile. You just crossed the bridge to yourself.